Saving Richie Novak
by pinklotus
Summary: AU:Can Richie, who is vengeful but not psychotic be shown a different path? This chapter deals with his relationship to Lily. Through helping her he begins to examine how his own autism impacted his life. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Saving Richie Novak…..

_Part 1: The Little Girl with the Flaxen Hair and Her Mommy's Eyes._

_Richie awoke to see two large brown eyes and a shock of flaxen hair peering up at him __as he lay in __the hospital bed._

_"Uncle Richie! Uncle Richie! Are you ok? I made you something to cheer you up. I've been scared". She said softly, her small voice quivering and her eyes overflowing with tears._

_"Emma-what are you doing here? Does your mommy know you're __here?__"_

_"She's yelling at Grandpa and they weren't looking at me"._

_"Oh, honey. Your mom isn't gonna like you being in here with me. Little kids aren't supposed to be in here, you know". He pulled himself up in the bed so he could see Emma's face more clearly as he spoke to her. To Richie's amazement she looked like sh__e might start crying again. "Oh,__ no honey. Don't cry. Please". Richie started panicking as he had no idea what to do to make Emma stop crying._

_"Here, honey, let me see what you made". He said in desperation. __He stuck out his hand to let __Emma give__him what appeared to be a drawing. She gave him the picture in between __sniffles, suddenly__ seeming a little shy as she did so._

_Richie looked at the picture. It was a picture __of Emma__Annie, Ryan__ and him all together. In front of a Christmas tree that Emma said proudly "I helped decorate Uncle Richie"! _

_"That's beautiful, honey" Richie suddenly felt a pang of loneliness inside his heart. It was a feeling he'd learned long ago to bury. It was not a good idea to __show loneliness__ or anything that could be perceived as weakness in prison. _

_Emma's smile and her innocence in thinking this was the kind of family holiday they would have was as heartbreaking as it was touching._

_"Will you be there for Christmas Uncle Richie? I missed you at Thanksgiving"._

_"I would love to be __there, sweetheart__" he said. To his surprise he felt that there was a part of him that was telling the truth. He didn't know why, but suddenly he felt that __it would have been good if he and Annie were close. The way they were when they were kids, before everything went so wrong between them. Before she betrayed him. Before the long punishment that he didn't deserve started and she never stepped in to stop it_

_Now here was the spitting image of __Annie, looking__ at him the way Annie used to when they were little. The same adoration, the same love. The same innocence._

_"Come __here, sweetie__". He said._

_Emma ran to him He picked her up and sat her on the bed with him. "I don't want you to worry about __me, sweetie__. I am going to be fine. I just look bad because I hadn't seen my favorite niece in awhile." _

_Emma giggled and clung to his neck. He cuddled her to him and gave her a kiss. Just then Annie came in and opened her mouth like she was going to start yelling. She stopped when she saw the look on Richie's face, and the smile on Emma's lips._

_"Mommy__, mommy__!" She giggled and jumped up and down in Richie's lap. "Uncle Richie is going to be ok. And I want him to come to Christmas dinner. Ok?"_

_Annie's eyes clouded over with tears as she saw the __joy__ i__n Emma's eyes. She only hoped that Richie would __not take__ that away__ from her_

_"We'll see how he feels,__honey" she said with a strained smile._

_"No, __no you__ have to say yes now!" Her lip quivered and she seemed on the verge of tears again._

_"Uncle Richie is fine. He's fine."!_

_"Ok__, Emma__ sweetie. He can come"._

_"I want to see Uncle Richie again. I have to give him more presents so he can get all better". She squeezed Richie around his neck, and kissed him. He kissed her back._

_"You know Emma, you're not supposed to be here to begin with. I'm not sure you can come back"._

_"NO, NO" She cried. "I have to see Uncle Richie. He won't get better if I don't see him Mommy"!_

_"O-ok, honey. You can come back. Don't be __sad, honey__. Now come here."_

_Richie looked at Emma and said __softly "its__ ok__, sweetie__. I'll be ok. I love __you, and__ I can't wait to see you again" He kissed Emma, and she kissed him back on his cheek._

_Richie closed his eyes and remembered when Annie used to kiss him like that. Back when she thought he was some kind of hero. Instead __of some__ kind of murdering psychotic._

_Annie picked Emma up, and __said to Richie "I'll bring her back another time. But she can't stay too long"._

_She walked away, but as she did so both she and Emma turned back and looked at Richie._

_"They look__ like the same person" Richie thought with a smile._

_For the first time in __a long time, Richie didn't feel __anger,__hatred or even fear or sadness. He felt at peace._

_Richie looked down at the picture in his h__and and ran his fingers over it.__ He smiled again._

_Maybe something good was going to happen, after all._

_The next day a very reluctant Ryan brought a beaming Emma to Richie's room._

_"Uncle Richie"! __She__ exclaimed, jumping into his arms and kissing him. "Are you feeling better?" she asked, her little brows furrowed in worry. _

_Although he really wasn't feeling that much better he thought it best not to tell Emma that. "Yes, I feel much better since you visited me yesterday and brought me that picture". He smiled and took the picture down from behind his bed. "You made me feel better". She smiled at him again and threw her arms around his neck._

_Richie hugged her back and smiled, and then saw Ryan's eyes glaring at him from behind Emma. _

_"Are you __staying, Ryan__"? He asked ,_

_Ryan continued to glower at Richie and asked Emma to go out to the nurse's station and ask Aunt Julia for some paper and crayons so she could draw some more pictures._

_"Ok__, Daddy__". She said and jumped off the bed, though not before kissing Richie again._

_As soon as she walked out Ryan said" Don't think for one second that I'm letting you near my daughter alone. I didn't want to go through with this. I didn't think Annie would be taken in by you again. But she was, and if my daughter has to be here than I will __be, too__."_

_Richie grimaced at the familiar nasty tone of his brother in law. "You know, Ryan. I didn't ask Emma to come into my room yesterday. She just did that on her own because __she has__ a good heart and she was worried about me. Now, if I had thrown her out you would have said I was heartless. I was nice to her and you think that was __wrong, too__? I told her that she probably shouldn't be coming to the hospital to see me, so did Annie. But she started crying so much that Annie relented. She wasn't "taken in __"by__ me. I wasn't trying to have her be taken in by me. So if you don't want her here please tell her that, because I sure as hell am not going to do it." _

_As Emma returned at that moment Ryan did not respond. Richie smiled at him, and then turned his attention back to Emma._

_"Sweetheart, do you want us to draw together"? __He__ asked._

_"I want you to tell me a story like my mommy does" .she said. "Then we can draw it. Can we, Uncle Richie"?_

_"A story?" Richie thought for a moment back to when he and Annie were children. There were a few that he could remember, and he thought of __one that__ he and Annie had __both liked__ and began telling her that one._

_She sat enraptured and when he was done she clapped her hands and demanded that they draw __it right__ away._

_Richie tried to avoid Ryan's eyes as he told the story, but when he finished and Emma asked for them to draw it she turned to Ryan and said "__Daddy, help__ us"!_

_"No, honey, you and Uncle Richie can do it on your own. I'll just watch."_

_"No, help us Daddy"_

_Ryan sighed because he really could not say no to her when she looked at him like that, and he looked up to find Richie grinning at him._

_"What are you grinning about"? __He__ asked._

_"I was just thinking it's not easy to say no to __Emma, is__ it"?_

_"Ok, you made your point. I was wrong to assume you tricked Annie into bringing Emma here. She obviously loves her Uncle." "Though I don't know why" he thought to himself._

_As if he could read his mind Richie said" You can't think why __though, right__"?_

_"What the fuck is he doing? Reading my mind now"? Ryan thought._

_"I never said that" he replied with as much dignity as he could muster considering he was blushing._

_Richie just laughed, and for awhile the only sounds came from Emma, who was exclaiming at the drawings they were making. She also took over supervising what they were drawing so they could "show Mommy the story"._

_When Annie walked in she was astonished at the image of Richie, Ryan and Emma all drawing intently, and Emma's breathless laughter when she'd see something they were drawing she thought was funny. She saw Richie look at Ryan and actually smile at him. When Ryan smiled back a little she thought she must be hallucinating._

_"Hi, everything ok here"?_

_"Mommy!" Emma ran over to Annie and brought her over to the bed."Look what we're making"!_

_"It's __beautiful, baby__." Annie __said, and__ her face changed as she saw the story they were putting into pictures."That's"-_

_"Our story" Richie finished for her. _

_For a moment Annie felt like time slipped away, and she was back with Richie when they were children. _

_"You remembered that"? She asked._

_"I never forgot anything". He replied._

_Joe came in just then and said he had to examine Richie. _

_Annie took Emma's hand and said they'd have to leave for now. _

_Predictably, Emma started crying at that news. She only calmed down when she was assured by Ryan that they could come back and see Richie. _

_Richie looked at Ryan in some astonishment and winked at him._

_Ryan looked momentarily taken aback, and then they got up to leave._

_Ryan gave Richie the drawing Emma had done. "Add this to the other picture "he said. He looked embarrassed about what he'd said to Richie before. _

_Richie took the picture and smiled at him. Then he looked at Emma and held out his arms. "I'll see you soon, honey. Thanks for coming to see me, Emma. I know you made me feel better. I love you"._

_"I love you too, Uncle Richie._

_"Come back soon" Richie called out. He didn't mean that only for E__m__ma, though. To his amazement he__ meant that for Annie, too. And Ryan._

_He was confused by what was happening, but had to admit it was better than the tension present between all of them __up until __now._

_He looked at the picture and smiled at Emma writing "I love you" on the bottom of her drawing._

_He wasn't shocked or confused to realize he felt the same way about her._


	2. Chapter 2

_Saving Richie Novak-Part 2-The Girl with the Quadratic Equations_

_Richie was still in the hospital the following week. He was gaining strength and was an__xious to get out and go home.__ .He tried to get them to discharge him, but Joe was adamant that he wait at least another week. He was allowed to leave his __room,__ however, and he was happy for that. _

_One day__ while he was resting__ a young woman bounded into his room. "Red. Red! Make it stop, make it stop!" She ran to the corner of the room and crouched down on the floor. _

_"Nine hundred ninety nine, nine hundred ninety eight, nine hundred-"__Richie peered over at her and said "Miss, can I help you?"_

_She didn't answer. She just kept counting down the numbers, rocking back and forth._

_Richie understood the signs. He knew an autistic person when he saw one. He knew because he was slightly autistic himself. A fact that he didn't know until he went to prison and they did testing on him. He later learned that his father had known about it, and that's why he doted on Richie the way he did. He never let Annie or Richie know when they were growing up for fear Annie would use it against __him. __Richie had been furious when he learned his father knew of his disorder and never told him. He was also never treated for it. In prison he learned about some of the causes __of __his low tolerance for frustration__ and __pain__, as well as his__ fear of being crowded or touched when he didn't want to be__ He learned why he sometimes felt disconnected from other people, and why he __found it hard to feel attached to someone. Even when he desperately wanted to be. The disorder sometimes made you feel as though you were suffocating when people got too close. By the look of the young woman on the floor, her disorder was more severe than his. But he did understand what was happening. So for a long time he said nothing. He just allowed her the space to cal__m down. When it seemed like she__ might be able to listen to __him (if__ not actually talk to __him) he__ edged his way off the bed __and crouched__ down near her. _

_"Hey" he said softly. "Hey, can I help you"? She __continued rocking back and __forth but__ the counting slowed down, and she seemed to be aware of his presence. Richie took this as a good sign and continued. "Can you tell me what __happened? Did somebody scare you by-wearing red? Did somebody try and touch you?" _

_She stopped rocking, and very slowly nodded her head. "Red. Too much red. Touch-no touch. I asked them not to touch me, but they weren't listening. They __-__they didn't hear me__ And they had red-red roses they were holding. They thought I was somebody else. I don't know who"._

_Richie pieced together what the young woman was saying. Some people at the hospital mistook her for someone else and started touching her. Apparently they either had flowers in their hands__.or they tried to give her flowers. And they were red-evidently a color __that caused__her__ to freak out_

_"Can you tell me your name?" he asked as __quietly as he could._

_"Lily". She said after a moment._

_"Lily" he repeated. "That's a beautiful name for a beautiful woman" he smiled at her and was glad when she smiled back, just a little. __"My name is Richie" he added._

_"You know, Lily you don't have to be scared. Those people didn't want to hurt you. They just thought you were someone they knew and wanted to show you that they loved and missed you. Do you know any one like that? Someone you'd be so happy to see that you'd give them flowers and hug them"?_

_"I can hug my Dad once in awhile and it doesn't hurt. But sometimes I think it'll hurt when someone touches __me,__so I get scared"_

_"Did somebody hurt you, Lily"?_

_"Well, one time someone tried, but my husband killed him"._

_"Y__our -__husband?"_

_"Yes, I was married for eight months, three weeks and four days. My dad__ didn't approve of Jonathan, so__ he had the marriage annulle__d. I didn't want to leave Jon __but then I found out that we were different and he didn't let me know. So I __left __him"._

_Richie blinked a few times, trying to process all this. He cleared his throat. "Your husband killed someone"?_

_"Yes, Terry. He was a bad man. He tried to hurt me. He was Annie's husband. Jonathan killed him before he could hurt me"._

_"Annie's husband?" What the hell was going on in this town?_

_"Annie, the one who's__ married to Ryan Lavery"?_

_Lily shook her head yes._

_"Well, than Ryan's brother is your ex?"_

_She nodded again. _

_"Well, I'm kind of related to Jon myself,__Lilly." Much to Jonathan's consternation, Richie was sure._

_Lily's eyes widened. "Really, how"?_

_"Annie is my sister." He said. "I'm not really related to him, but he is my brother in law. Like Ryan is."_

_Lily smiled at him.__ "Ryan is a nice man. He loves Jonathan, and he loves Annie"._

_"Yeah, he's great" said Richie, inwardly wanting to grab something and throw it. __Although he and Ryan had made some improvements in their relationship due to Emma, Ryan still had a suspicious attitude__ where__ Richie__ was concerned. Fe__w things were more __annoying than Ryan __Lavery__ when he was in "hero" mode__. Unless it was people worshipping Ryan Lavery._

_"He helped Jonathan when he was sick. He used to be bad, but it's because he had a tumor"._

_"Yes, I heard abou__t that". __Mr.__ Wonderful aiding a psychotic. And trying to get __Richie __put away because __Ryan thought he __was one._

_"Listen,__Lily? Would you like to try something"? She nodded._

_"Ok. Close your eyes and think about all the people w__ho make you feel safe. Think of__ each person and imagine they're doing whatever they do to make you feel safe when you're scared. Can you try that"? Lilly nodded again. She closed her eyes and started naming people. As she did so, Richie would ask what each one did to make her __safe, and__ he would repeat it with her. When she came to Ryan she __said"__Ryan makes me laugh"._

_"Yeah, I could see why he would "._

_"He does! He's very funny."_

_Richie could think of many words he__would __use to describe Ryan__, but funny wasn't one of them. __ He thought it best not to upset Lily, __however so__ he just let her tell him how funny Ryan was. _

_Sure enough, she started to calm down. Richie could understand that. He got sleepy listening to Ryan's self important__ droning__. But he had to grudgingly admire the way he dealt with Lily. It seemed he did know how to talk to her, and if he was honest he had to admit tha__t some of what Lily was saying __Ryan told her was funny. "It's too bad I never see that side of him" Richie thought. "I might actually like him"._

_A man came to the door that Richie recognized as the attorney __who __was at the courthouse the day Ryan and the spy guy-Aidan?-were arrested for stringing him up on a noose. _

_Predictably, the man was alarmed to see Lily with Richie. "What the hell are you doing with my daughter"? He demanded._

_"Shit" thought Richie. "What do you think I'm doing "? Aloud he said "Mr. whatever your name is-Lily came in here in a panic. I think you can probably see that? I'm just trying to calm her down. Make her feel safe"._

_"What do you know about someone like my daughter"? _

_"I know enough not to speak about her as though she's either a child or not really in the room. Look, I have enough trouble right now dealing with my illness and my __family;__ I really don't need any further aggravation or accusations thrown at me. So,__please just leave"._

_"Lily-sweetie are you ok"? _

_Lily had begun rocking back and forth at the sound of anger in their voices,__though they both were mindful to keep their voices down._

_"Richie helped me when I got scared. I was frightened by the people who tried to touch me and give me red flowers. He made me __think about__ people who make me feel safe and how they do that. It worked, I felt better. But the two of you are angry-your mouths are turned do__wn and__ y__ou__ and Richie__ have angry eyes." _

_The two men immediately started to __talk at the same time, each reassuring her that they weren't angry and everything was fine. Lily smiled at their obvious attempt to make her feel __better__ and the tension was somewhat broken._

_"Lily" Richie said with a smile. "You know what I do when I'm scared or nervous? Math equations in my head."_

_"Really,__what kind"? She asked in surprise. "I do that, too"._

_"I do quadratic equations. Do you like those"? _

_Lily beamed at that, and she nodded. __"I__ can do those, and I like them. Do you really do them when you're upset"? Richie nodded. She looked at him quizzically._

_"Do you have autism spectrum __disorder, too__? I never knew anyone else who wanted to do quadratic equations when they were upset."_

_Richie paused and looked at Jack who was scowling slightly less than before. "Yes, I have a form of autism spectrum disorder. It's not the same as yours. But I do have it, and I can understand why you feel the way you do. And I know how you can cope with it"._

_Lily looked at him in amazement and smiled. "You're the first person I ever met who was not in my school who had autism spectrum disorder. Can you be touched?"__"Yes, I can. But it depends on who is touching me and under what circumstances. I don't like crowds, and people crowding me make me start doing math problems in my head!"_

_"Can you have sex"? Lily asked in her usual blunt fashion._

_Richie grinned and Jack looked at Lily in horror. "Lily that's not our business! Now, come on and let's leave Richie alone so he can rest." He looked at Richie and said "I'm sorry I yelled. I get frantic sometimes with Lily. I apologize. And thank you for helping her"._

_Richie was stunned. He couldn't remember anyone in Pine Valley apologizing to him for anything. __"That's ok". He said to Jack. _

_To Lily he said" You can come back anytime and talk to me about equations or anything else you'd like. I enjoyed meeting you"._

_Lily blushed." I enjoyed meeting you__.too. Do you mind if I call you Richard instead __of Richie__"?_

_Richie smiled again and said" Lily, you can call me whatever you like". _

_"Goodbye, Richard"._

_"Goodbye, Lily"._

_When Lily left Richie went back to his bed and pulled the covers up __to his__ chin. He closed his eyes and thought about Lily. The first person other than his niece who liked him. It figured it would be someone with the same disorder as him,__albeit in a much more severe form. He thought how innocent and p__ure Lily was. He knew it was a__ long time since he'd been that innocent, if ever. There was always so much anger and fear going on inside him that he didn't understand, and never was taught to cope with when he was__ growing up__. He thought Lily was lucky in a way. She knew what was wrong with her from the beginning and was given help. People didn't expect things from her that they'd expected from him. He had the same fears but still was forced to touch, interact, __and be__ crowded. He drew in a breath as the familiar anger enveloped him. If only he'd known what was happening to him, so much could have been different in his life._

_Maybe helping Lily was a second chance for him? Richie had seen too much __to dismiss__their meeting__ as coincidence. He knew better. Lily needed __someone. __She was alone, and very lonely. He didn't want to be her boyfriend, but he did want to be her friend. It would be a shame to see all that __beautiful, kind__, intelligent __energy wasted_

_Richie wondered how to get in touch with her and then smiled. She would be back to find him._

_ After all, he was the only one she knew who'd do quadratic equations with her._


End file.
